1. |
Pop Song
02:14
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Hey, can someone tell me what to do tonight?
I’m scared I’ll die alone cause I don’t live my life right
Damn, the future’s getting nearer everyday
Wake up, get your head on straight
My heart is beating fast
It’s telling me if I keep this up, it won’t take it anymore
Oh well, I never thought highly of life anyway
I feel like I’ll die any day by now
I’ve convinced myself that, but I don’t know how
Don’t think I’ll practice self help tonight
I’ll sing about about how I don’t feel alive
Hey, am I lost or am I blind?
I put how others see me before how I see myself
I can’t remember the last time I felt happy with myself
Oh, sometimes I think about if I lay down and close my eyes, will I never wake up?
If death is like that, I might not have to be scared
And please stop telling me it will be fine
It just reminds me that the fault is mine
Don’t think I’ll practice self care tonight
Maybe in this song, I’ll find how to survive
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2. |
Reality
03:53
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A static noise
It’s scuffing out my joy
My mind is going in panic mode
I’m burning up
And time is slowing down
It’s breaking at the seams
Just feel it, and don't think
It’s never worth the time to heal
Tell yourself it’s fine
It’s a good day
I’m dying anyway
Manic depression is just amazing
No, it's not fine
I'm about to lose my mind
I’m screaming out a sigh
You know it, can’t you see
This mindset’s all I can afford
Like painting sweeter dreams
Hey, are you out there
Tell me you're out there
Or anywhere
I don't even know if I'm sane or not
You gotta be out there
Tell me you're out there
I'm fine, I swear
It's breaking apart
My reality
I’m waking up
Fighting intrusive thoughts
It’s just a moment of self reflection
I hate this life
I’m running out of time
But I can make this right
Just feel it, and don't think
I’m sure it will be over soon
But how come I feel so scared
Why can't I see you
Why can't I hear you
Things that I know
Running through my head
Was it all a dream?
No, I can't see you
No, I can't hear you
While all alone
I wait for a time
When you’ll come back home
Hey, are you out there
Tell me you're out there
Or anywhere
I don't even know if I'm sane or not
You gotta be out there
Tell me you're out there
I'm fine, I swear
It's breaking apart
My reality
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3. |
Insomnia Analysis
03:34
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I wake up
Drenched in sweat
It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I have been paralayzed
I can’t stop
Talking to myself in the dark
It makes me feel like I am not alone
So it’s another night where I stay up until it’s too late
寝たいや
I’ve stayed up for 3 days in a row and I feel like I’m going insane
Am I crazy?
Don’t say I’m too lazy
Nothing ever phase me
I feel like I’m fading
Maybe there’s something wrong with me
Not like I didn’t know that already
But when I close my eyes, I see a broken face in the dark
Dark circles in my eyes
When I lay down, it feels like something is pressing down on me
I’m losing my mind
So it’s another night where I stay up until it’s too late
寝たいや
I’ve stayed up for 3 days in a row and I feel like I’m going in-
I don’t know where I am in life
Consequently, I don’t think I feel alive
The darkness is where I belong
Turn off the light because I’m gone
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4. |
See Me Around
04:02
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You raise me up
To higher ground
I have been wandering around
A thousand lives
The broad, bold daylight
Home just for a night
You raise me up
To higher skies
Now I'm just kissing off my pride
My haunts are cold
I'm feeling old
All my colored ink has dried
Won't see me around
Cant recognize myself this far underground
Won't see me around
One look into my eyes and you're going down
I'm so unseen
Always have been
It counts for nothing anyway
The face I take may be too small
But whose it was I can't recall
I steal from God
When I'm allowed
I never thought that it was bad
A rabbit goes into a hat
Did you notice he was mad
Won't see me around
Cant recognize myself this far underground
Won't see me around
One look into my eyes and you're going down
Get up get the party started
You're not leaving broken hearted
Get up get the party started
You're not leaving broken hearted
Get up get the party started
You're not leaving broken hearted
Get up get the party started
You're not leaving broken hearted
Won't see me around
Cant recognize myself this far underground
Won't see me around
One look into my eyes and you're going down
Won't see me around
Cant recognize myself this far underground
Won't see me around
One look into my eyes and you're going down
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5. |
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One strand of caffeine steeping deep inside your mind
Yeah, and it's brewed fine
Perfectly conjured
Melting pot of black contour
Now you’ll survive until tomorrow
She won’t miss you
There is nothing you can do but make it yourself
Without her here to help
Guess you’ll forget about her in the end
It’s easier to run than to make amends
Isn’t it?
Please quiet down
She said that's enough
Don't you know your time is up?
You were given all the time that you need
Just get a grip
Can’t spend your whole life chasing after filly dreams
But you don’t know how to let it go
So I’ll see you again tomorrow
That bittersweet taste’s nothing like what she would make
It’s just a fake
Mixed with black and white
Like the colours of the night
Reflecting light, they’re like her eyes
Counting every day by hand
Time’s slipping by like a grain of sand
You’ve pursued this dream for years
And you ended up here with nothing to show
So she walked out the door
Said it was enough
Couldn’t bear to look at your slow demise
That was the last cup of coffee she made for you
Give me a break
You act like a child
Your one chance might take awhile
You're destroying all you have for this dream
But at what cost?
Take another sip
Bitter like a deadly kiss
You've come too far to give up now; yeah, I know
That’s why you'll try again tomorrow
Crush these words into pieces
Set it all ablaze
Set it all ablaze
It doesn’t matter if it’s your best shot
It’s a life
So you’ll give it all you’ve got
I know it's hard
That it feels like you've done everything that you can
Then why is it everyone leaves you behind
It's like a joke
You're playing a role
A play you cannot escape
Trapped in a tragedy that you create
Please quiet down
I said that's enough
Don't you know your time is up?
You were given everything that you need
Just get a grip
Can’t spend your whole life chasing after filly dreams
But you don’t know how to let it go
So I’ll see you again tomorrow
I know you’ll try again tomorrow
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6. |
Hammerspace
03:40
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Oh baby how could this be
You know my body better than me
Yeah you know all my weak spots
Handling me like I'm a queen
Licking me clean
In a cartoon sex scene
We are changing
Bodies mangling
Turning to ink
Dye our bloodstreams
Painting sweeter dreams
Do whatever you want
Say whatever you wanna say
I wanna forget about this
So tell me where my hammerspace is
When the memory's stuck
We go crazy when we f-
When the memories stir
Baby it's like a full-on war
Do whatever you want
Say whatever you wanna say
I wanna forget about this
So tell me where my hammerspace is
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7. |
I Can't Stay Here
02:35
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Don't tell me that I'm nice
I'm never asking you this twice
If I’m the bad one here
Then I can let you go with just tears
Guess you have just me to blame
I think when you told me I’m insane
I must have thought, “well, okay, that’s right”
It’s alright
Running across the aisle
I’ll walk a 100,000 miles
Cause I can’t stay here
Lest I remember you, my dear
Looking at the photograph
I’m tearing it off in half
I am setting off alone in flight
Yeah, alright
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8. |
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I know; what's the point?
If art is all you've got
It seems like it's for nothing
You think it's worth a shot
You try to hide the tears away
Like a child, you throw a fit and say
“I’m alright, it’s fine. Just one more year and I’ll be signed.”
So that’s what keeps you alive
But is that really true?
Do you exist for art
Or does art exist for you?
Well, I don’t have the answers, man
We just do what we want in ways we can
I don’t think it’s wrong
That you just want to sing a song
I know it comes off as just dumb
You’ve mastered how to become numb
But is it really so wrong to become like kids for once?
If this is everything
If that is what you mean
Why can’t you see that you’re worth more than this?
You don’t want to appease
And you want to be free
But isn’t this the same as being locked without a key?
You can’t remember why you started doing this
You’ve forgotten how much fun all this all used to be
What started as a way to cope is now another ruse
But keep doing what you want to do
It’s a state of codependency
A parasitic tendency
You give up your life to achieve your dreams
Not knowing that’s the source of your screams
“Art is my purpose in life”, you justify the strain
But there’s nothing irreplaceable about pain
Remember how you used to play
It doesn’t have to be this way
If honesty is virtue
And authenticity’s what makes art good
But revealing value in lies is a way of searching for a truth
So a toast to all the dreamers
The schemers and the builders
This doesn’t have to be your reason for living
But I don’t think it’s wrong if it helps you with healing
It seems inconsequential
We want to believe it’s essential
But as long as it’s important to you
That is what remains true
So give it all you’ve got
It might not mean a lot
But meaning’s something we assign ourselves
I know you have to write
But don’t give up your life
Don’t lose your way and don’t forget to take care of yourself
An artist, at their core, is someone who’s self obsessed
It’s the only way we can do what we do without being a mess
And that’s the point
Cause it exists for no one else but you
So keep doing what you want to do
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9. |
Porter Robinson
07:53
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When I was young, I never felt sad or lonely
I just lived moment to moment
I had no duties, no responsibilities
Just a rebel without a cause
Now I'm scared of change
Cause, will I be the same?
I think I’ve become the very thing I used to detest
When I was young, I heard a song on the internet
I remember it was so strange
But in it, something spoke to me like nothing else
And an artificial voice sang a song:
“I’ll say goodbye soon
I’ll surround you
And give life to a world that’s our own”
So let’s give it all we’ve got
Cause we might not have a lot
But still I'm
I’m love in with you
I’ll stay true to you
When I feel happy, I
Doubt myself
So can I rely on you for help?
You don’t need any reason
I put on Porter Robinson
And we sing:
We depend on you
We depend on you
We’ll make it through the night
That's all right
But can I rely on you
Can I rely on you
Can I rely on
(Is anyone there?)
-
I swear, this always happens
It always finds a way
I always make mistakes when
I start to feel too safe
We did so much together
But I can’t handle this
Drink like there’s no tomorrow
Like I’m a little kid
I know that you're beautiful
But you gotta learn to take care of yourself
'Cause you are the top shelf
Yeah we play these games
It's queer
We're lucid
We're strange
And maybe deranged
You're changing your name
I'm changing my name back
You can't hop on a plane back
To the place where your face didn't pain you to look at
'Cause you gotta learn to take care of yourself
Yeah we play these games
It's queer
We're lucid
We're strange
You're changing your name
I'm changing my name back
You can't hop on a plane back
To the place where your face didn't pain you to look at
'Cause you gotta learn to take care of yourself
You gotta learn to take care of yourself
You gotta learn to take care of yourself
You gotta learn to take care of yourself
You gotta learn to take care of yourself
Yeah we play these games
It's queer
We're lucid
We're strange
Learn to take care of yourself
Changing my name back
Hop on a plane back
Learn to take care of yourself
To the place where your face
Where your face didn't face
Top chef gonna cook that
I order the steak
I order the Porter
Battles are never over
It takes so long to fight
We knock out all the strangers
We write and write and write
It don't get any easier
I wanna see us free
Let's sing out in the morning
You can depend on me
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JohnJRenns South Korea
The former musical alias of Cecily Renns. cecilyrenns.bandcamp.com
“Frankly, pop
culture is a bit better at rocking people emotionally than the better chunk of the so-called fine arts.” - Kadono Kouhei, authour of ‘Boogiepop’
“...소위 팝컬쳐라 불리는 게 있다. 예술이라 하기엔 좀 그렇긴 한데 하여튼 사람의 마음을 뒤흔드는 점에 간해서는 어정쩡한 파인 아트보다 힘이 세기도 하는 놈이다.” - 카도노 코우헤이, '부기팝' 작가
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