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vigilante (John's Song)

from colour this death by JohnJRenns

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lyrics

and i’m never ever going back home
gonna lock myself in my own dorm
these regrets are simply the norm
as i smell the crimson scent of hawthorn

baby i know it's true
memories come back in view
can’t tell anymore who’s who
is it you who haunts or me that haunted you?

woke like a vigilante
and you’ll know where to find me (haunting you)
woke like a vigilante
and you don’t have to mind me (haunting you)

outside for the first time in my life
inside i’m faking that i'm alright
drinking away, thinking you was with us
wanna kill myself, dont have the guts
am i depressed
you was repressed
or just fucking obsessed
my condition's validation for addiction thats fiction
do i roam the streets wondering where do i have to go
wondering where should i be goin', yeah
or am i just looking to repent for my sins
maybe someone's still hidin'
unlike me, they still fightin'

and i’m never ever going back home
gonna lock myself in my own dorm
i deserve a life of being alone
it’s my destiny to wander and roam

lived/ripped the last pages of your life
shards and blood everywhere
roommates asking "you alright?"
wanna scream
gotta dream
cut my veins, bloodstreams
i slow my breath
hide my face
put your letter back in place
my therapist says i have trauma
how could i go against dogma
feels i lived these seven years in a coma
then i’m thinking maybe it's karma
insomniac blood test
cardiac arrest
culdesac protests
vigilantes woke and coalesced
sleeping in
never waking up from my dreams

so i dont sleep no more, sleep no more
when i close my eyes, all i see is you anymore

and i’m never ever going back home
gonna lock myself in my own dorm
you rise up and take your earthly form
it comes crashing down in beautiful forlorn

baby i know its true
memories come back in view
can’t tell anymore who’s who
is it you who haunts or me that haunted you?

woke like a vigilante
and you’ll know where to find me (haunting you)
woke like a vigilante
and you don’t have to mind me (haunting you)

- John

credits

from colour this death, released July 21, 2020

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about

JohnJRenns South Korea

The former musical alias of Cecily Renns. cecilyrenns.bandcamp.com

“Frankly, pop culture is a bit better at rocking people emotionally than the better chunk of the so-called fine arts.” - Kadono Kouhei, authour of ‘Boogiepop’

“...소위 팝컬쳐라 불리는 게 있다. 예술이라 하기엔 좀 그렇긴 한데 하여튼 사람의 마음을 뒤흔드는 점에 간해서는 어정쩡한 파인 아트보다 힘이 세기도 하는 놈이다.” - 카도노 코우헤이, '부기팝' 작가
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