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I Don't Wanna Die​!​!​!

from The Odyssey of Cyrilia Allison: A Trans Rock Opera by JohnJRenns

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lyrics

Tell me why they sanctify my name like it’s something to die for? I don’t know why they care more than I do. Why do I hold onto lies? It’s not like I believe it will happen. But still I believe that you will come for me.

Music covered in moonlight, lighting up the night. I still haven’t let go inside. Squeezing tight this fright. If my past won’t give up this fight, the only choice is to kill it out of sight - Deicide. I’m gone.

They won’t even get a glance; I’ll kill myself before that chance. Sharpening and cleaning this knife in advance. To let go of all you know, you need to murder yourself in all their eyes. So that ‘he’ remains unrecognizable.

Music covered in your light, lighting up the night. I still haven’t let go inside. Squeezing tight this fright. If my past won’t give up this fight, the only choice is to kill it out of sight - Deicide. I’m done.

I swear I’m gonna fucking kill myself. But I don’t wanna die!

Knocking. I hear a knock on my door. They’re here. What is this feeling in my heart? Relief? Or maybe pride, or fear? That I am going -

That I am going home

credits

from The Odyssey of Cyrilia Allison: A Trans Rock Opera, released April 24, 2021

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JohnJRenns South Korea

The former musical alias of Cecily Renns. cecilyrenns.bandcamp.com

“Frankly, pop culture is a bit better at rocking people emotionally than the better chunk of the so-called fine arts.” - Kadono Kouhei, authour of ‘Boogiepop’

“...소위 팝컬쳐라 불리는 게 있다. 예술이라 하기엔 좀 그렇긴 한데 하여튼 사람의 마음을 뒤흔드는 점에 간해서는 어정쩡한 파인 아트보다 힘이 세기도 하는 놈이다.” - 카도노 코우헤이, '부기팝' 작가 ... more

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