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lyrics

At the top of the ferris wheel
He leaned in closer
I said,
“Hurt me, and throw me away.”
He started crying
His tears on my cardigan
I laughed,
“You can’t do anything right.”

Throw me a lifeboat, I’m drowning again
What do you mean that we’re more than mere friends

Expand your mind for me
And stop saying sorry
“...Can’t stand to see you like this, MARI.”
Why don’t you piss off?
If you really care enough
Instead of me, you’d go see SUNNY

Throw me into the lake, I’m drowning the world
That’s not too bad for a Pisces girl

My life is like a casket being pulled down to the ground
A lifeless doll going back to dirt, that’s all it amounts
And around my corpse are lilies of the valley
Reminds you of the times when we used to be happy
But I’m the one who messed it all up, what do I know?
Just a suburban girl with too much thoughts to let go
Burn it all down, like ashes in the sky
Oh, tear it all down, the memories and the lies

I can hear his cries yelling through the door
I rest my case, there’s nothing he can do to help me anymore
I egg him on, like, "Come on, won’t you be my HERO?"
“MARI, I’m never ever gonna leave you alone.”
Leave me alone! Why would I deserve this
The girl you loved is never coming back, the things you miss
Burn it down, like ashes in the sky
Oh, tear it all down, the memories and the lies

And who will remember my memories when I die?
Will I hurt them more in death than when I was alive?

It’s a lie
I’m a lie
Don’t ask why

I can’t see his face but I know he can’t keep it straight
Predictable; can’t take it when a girl retaliates
Burn it all down; this bridge, I’ll burn down!
Let it all fly, the ashes in the sky!
Destroying every good will, nowhere I can fall back
“Get the fuck out, HENRY. And don’t come back.”
Burn it down, like ashes in the sky!
Oh, tear it all down, the memories and the lies!

He can kiss me in the car and I’ll hold my breath
For a single moment, I forgot my fear of death
We could lose our minds, they could find us in a ditch
They’d say, “She wouldn't do that, the boy made her a bitch!”
I pushed him away, I looked down in a frown
He turned and said “Alright,” and drove me back to town
Is it bad that I want to keep him around?
Is it bad that I want to keep him around

And the room’s filled with silence
Sold my soul for a pittance
It doesn’t make me look good, I know
There’s the piano
OMORI says,
“MARI, you’re nice
And wise
And kind
Don’t you know?”

You’re absolutely right
I don’t need him
All I need is your love
And that’s all it costs
As long as you get better
And I pay my price
Then it’s fine
Even if that means I’m lost

There’s still one last thing I have left to say
Maybe he’ll find out when I go away
When you read the newspaper, don’t hold your breath
“Good girl ROSEMARIE found hanged to death”

And I wanted to tell him I love him

credits

from Lily of the Valley, released November 29, 2021

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JohnJRenns South Korea

The former musical alias of Cecily Renns. cecilyrenns.bandcamp.com

“Frankly, pop culture is a bit better at rocking people emotionally than the better chunk of the so-called fine arts.” - Kadono Kouhei, authour of ‘Boogiepop’

“...소위 팝컬쳐라 불리는 게 있다. 예술이라 하기엔 좀 그렇긴 한데 하여튼 사람의 마음을 뒤흔드는 점에 간해서는 어정쩡한 파인 아트보다 힘이 세기도 하는 놈이다.” - 카도노 코우헤이, '부기팝' 작가
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